Dr. Strangeskwirll

So apparently we now own another house. 1 mile away from state land and great trails, 1/4 mile away from Mt. Brighton.. you know... 75 feet of sheer vertical bliss... A historic home built in 1877, which for us is like getting a newer home considering our current home is dated to 1860.

We're green, we recycle

Edit: The current owner is a stock broker hence the monitor overkill and window a/c system to cool down his office.

Jak Jak's owner called me this morning and left me a crazy message... " I 've been worried sick, been doing a lot of drinkin, fightin, and been manic all night worrying about my dog....."

So I drove him over to his home that is under construction a mile away from where I found him. I was supposed to meet him at 1... and I waited... and I waited... and hour and a half for him to show up. His friends were there waiting for him as well. Jak's owner ( Rick ) pulls up the drive way on his custom Harley and Jak Jak runs to greet him... and Rick- a design for Ford working on the new Mustang blah blah blah, runs into a tree trying to avoid Jak, smacking his nuts on the gas tank.

After a big bear hug I am dressed down for not doing the "right thing" according to his way of thinking. I am told that in the depths of his depression he wanted to throttle me ( or at the time the unknown person who took his dog ).I let him get all of his frustration out while his friends looked at him with this " I can't believe that you aren't kissing this guy's ass for saving your dog and taking care of him for the weekend" look. I finally say, "well.. I wanted to kick the shit out of the you ( the unknown person who doesn't take care of his dog) for not having your dog on a leash and not answering your cell phone after I called 20 times to let you know that I was TAKING CARE OF YOUR DOG THAT YOU LET ROAM FREE ON A BUSY ROAD!" With that I got into my car to drive home and his friend's wife slips me $20 and apologized for Rick being "eccentric". Eccentric... is that what they call assholes these days? If Jak hadn't been genuinely excited to be reunited with his owner I would have snagged him back as I left.

I need to reverse the jack ass magnet that I seem to have, I am running out of time and patience to deal with them, even though they do make for good stories.

I took my parents to breakfast this morning and decided to run by my shop to grab one of my hard drives. On my way back home I took the back way due to construction and as I was rounding Winan's Lake I see a lab cruising towards me in the other lane. I slow down to give him a shout and he makes a u turn and starts following me! With him in my rear view mirror I pull into the first drive- apparently he thinks that he is a car...

His tag has an Ann Arbor number (30 miles away) and the property owner confirms that he isn't from around there. A storm is coming in so the dog - Jak- jumps in my car and I head back to my vet's to get him scanned for id chips. He had one but couldn't pull up the info so I keep calling the phone number from his tag. No one home so I reverse search the number and find out the house is for sale and I contact the real estate agent who confirms that the family has a lab and that he too is trying to reach them- he's got their cell phone number. Oh yeah... he has gas...the dog that is, and it is really baaad! So I now have a really super sweet ( and stinky ) and well trained lab in my yard waiting to get picked up by his rightful owners... I think that they may be spending the weekend on Winan's other wise I would be ready to bitch slap them for not taking care of their dog... maybe I should any ways.

I love Izze grapefruit soda.

And I feel... A CLOWN!!!! Duck and Cover!



so I am procrastinating still and I came across this and thought of Amelia.. and if she were my enemy this is how I could be defeated.

other good ones including laser bunny are here
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/historys-worst-weapons.php?page=1

So last night we went to see The Birthday Massacre show. I always enjoy TBM and I actually enjoyed Mindless Self Indulgence, they (he) put on a great stage show.

Blah blah blah... the real entertainment was the crowd. Harpo's was PACKED with young kids - which made trips to the bar quick and easy. The table behind us was covered with 5 slacker emo kids who would have fit in better at a library than a show. I finally turned around ( and accidentally sloshed some beer towards the bubble of straight edge ) and asked if they were bored. "We don't like industrial, we are here to see MSI..snoooore," said the leader who, with suspenders on over a shirt with some hand written something about Jesus, resembled Ducky from that John Hughes movie. I may have said some stupid stuff, insulted their generation and Halo and then appointed the cute chick who threw me the horns to be their new leader because Ducky sucked.... Kim said that I may have gone too far and hurt his feelings as his shield now covered both eyes.... you know , the usual for me. No thinking before talking. I guess I was bored.

So after a couple of songs and a chant about "Anal Sex" or "Angie Sucks" ( Ducky wouldn't respond to me asking for clarification ) we left to head to City Club. As I passed Ducky I pulled him aside and said, " You buy their tickets?" "yes" "You buy their shirts & CDs" "yes" " Are you going to the after party?" "wide eyed now "NO."

"Man," I said, " I didn't even have to pay to get into this show and I'm going.... but wait... you ...don't recognize us do you?" Ducky squints, thinks and says, "no.." "Don't worry," I said " we're better known on the east coast, look us up on line" and I mumbled something like lobsterbisque.com just under the music and patted him on the back. As I walked away the table all of a sudden was abuzz with glances and expressions of "Who was that couple?!"

I farted a lot at City Club and I didn't care... another sign that I must be getting too old.

We look at 2 more houses this week, a newish log home on 5 acres that is a step away from foreclosure and a cool bad ass timber frame home that is most likely out of our budget. Both are nestled in state land.

Bank of Scotland is warning of world wide depression in the next 3 months so a buffer between me and my neighbors is looking really good right about now. OF course us Scots are traditionally alarmists. My grand father would look out at the mint fields and pace and worry," not enough rain.." and then when it would rain he would
pace and worry, " it's raining too much"

We'll see.. but if Nostrodamus is correct.... we're F****D!

Enough Procrastinating, Im off!

So as I pull into my parking lot this morning I see a curious thing.... an armored truck is on the shoulder broke down with a cop car behind it lights blaring and a tank with cannon pointing at the armored truck.. my landlord parks his tank out front for the paintball shop on the grass. I wanted to get a picture but couldn't get close enough to the scene with out looking obvious...and I was outgunned.

In other news of the strange- Metal head Mark caught himself on fire while cashing his paycheck in the drive thru lane of the bank. "Dude, I smelled smoke and I like 'what's on fire!?' .. and it was me! I threw my cig out the window and it must have bounced back in and got caught in my hair!"

The old lady motivated seller wouldn't budge on her asking price for her log cabin on a private no motors allowed lake... I don't believe that constitutes as a motivated seller and I bitch slapped the agent for that. We are looking at other homes, one in the midst of state park land but I am not holding my breath.

The planning commission is going well and I find it very interesting... although I am not making friends.

2+ weeks on the road. Key west, No Name Key, Conch Key ( caught a barracuda and a sting ray), Islamorada, Disney and then the Disney Cruise, stop in Charleston and we are now on our way home. We are on a whirl wind tour with Kim's parents.

So... we stopped in Ashville to get some badly needed sleep and I just happen pick the same hotel that George Clinton and Parliament are staying in. Ha! I'll try to get some pix if I can.

The funniest thing I heard in Disney? While discovering that our pass did not include Blizzard Beach, we were told ( in total 3 confusion style) that, " You have NO fun in your package!" which Kim's Dad repeated to me as often as possible!

Oh Schnicklefritz ..... can't help it, the poor boy likes the taste.



.... oh my gute wurst.....

So I receive a call from a company that produces websites yesterday. The Indian woman on the line expressed that she would like to create a web site for me and that her company was offering a free trial. Indian accents slay me!

"Really?" was my reply, "I just purchased mattandthedonkey.com and really need a website, can you show the dirty stuff?"

"Yes, we can show the dirty stuff." type type type "You are wasting my time, the domain mattandthedonkey.com is still available."

" I JUST bought it, I have the receipt here from godaddy.... seriously!... do you like donkeys?"

"I do like donkeys... would you like me to send you a picture of me?"

I never received the picture of Ivy (who can be reached at sales@wserve.com attention "ivy") I think that she may have been playing me. Like the tiger that stalks the hunter.. or something....

At any rate, everything is pretty OK. been busy and have been appointed to the planning commission- came out swinging... let me rephrase that.. came out strong at the first meeting where one of the members wanted to demolish an old neon bowling alley and lounge sign. I fought for the sign.

The Volvo needed 2 new wheel rear bearings and a motor mount.... expensive. I contacted Volvo USA and found out that I had a 100k warranty that the dealer had overlooked! Throw in 3 more motor mounts please!

We are driving to Key West with Kim's parents in a couple of weeks. I know, I know- we just went there- why go back? I couldn't pass up the trip, Kim's Dad is going to show us some of the off the beaten path dives where we can fish off the shore with in walking distance of a bucket of cheap beer. Keys that haven't changed much in 30 years.

And then it's off to Disney- Kim's parents are taking the whole family to Disney/Disney cruise. Kim's mom is doing well so far so we are going of take advantage to all of the time that we can spend with her.

I am procrastinating. Must start working. Should have cranked dat curry and cured my mustache for Ivy.

Not complaining really. It actually got quite... uh funny... I have never feared getting stranded in an airport, kind of thought that it may be fun in the "Better to stuck in an airport hotel on a bad than a good day at work" vacation extension kind of thing...negative on that idea.

We normally fly NWA but decided to take a break from their lousy bad service ( ha!)...but we had United miles.

•United Detroit to NYC with a lay over in DC
•Friday 6am
•"This is your captain speaking..uh, it's been that kind of morning so far. Uh, ahhhhh we've made a mistake on our paper work so we'll be pushing back as soon as we get this straightened out. That should be about...ahhhhh.. 1 more hour." It has been an hour since we boarded.

•Finally take off, miss connector to NYC.
United CS response: "Weather" caused the delay. You and your bags are screwed at your expense. Weather?!

•Rebook on later flight to NYC and board
•LaGuardia (LGA) gound stop due to winds
•Ground stop lifted plane heads to waiting area.
•Passenger has "medical" issue and has to exit plane
•Plane goes back to gate misses ground stop window
•Another hour goes by and we are in the air
•We get to NYC @ 4pm ( direct this is a 2 hour flight) bags show up @ midnight

•Hang out in NYC, visit Brighton Beach - little Russia. Generally have a good time.

•Monday 4 pm
•Flight to DC delayed. 1.5 hours later Flight finally takes off
•Land in DC get on Express flight to Detroit
•flight takes off late
•20 minutes from landing in Detroit flight gets cancelled (weather) and returns to DC ( Dulles)
•Door opens up on tarmac.."Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya"
•No more flights until Tuesday and only to Chicago.
•It is now 1 am Tuesday and we are on our own to find a hotel- our expense. plus have to fight to get our luggage.."not our problem" United says
•Flight is booked for 5pm Tuesday
•We decide to spend the day on the mall in DC and see the sites and monuments in a balmy 70 degree day
•noon: Flight from Chicago to Detroit cancelled (weather)
•I'm laughing
•3pm: Flight from DC to Chicago cancelled (weather)
•DC to Chicago flight not cancelled..oops...our bad- United
•4pm: We decide to rent a car & drive to Detroit- all rental cars gone
•Decide to take flight to Chicago rent a car from O'hare
still laughing

•5 Pm Dulles to O'hare flight
•Board Boeing 777 to Chicago. Am told that we will get an upgrade to first class
•Get seated and crew member renigs offer even though 1st class is empty along with the rest of flight
•Have "heart to heart" stern conversation with purser
•Get seats in first class and a bottle of wine to go with weak apologies
•Flight delayed 2 hours ( weather )

•Finally land at O'hare
•Help old Romanian woman who United crew leaves at gate with no assistance
•No Rental cars, book 7 am Wednesday flight
still laughing
•Find hotel, order room service and raid courtesy bar
•1 am

•Wednesday 7 am flight to Detroit
•Flight cancelled- plane is broken- all outgoing flights after 7 are cancelled
•Get a new plane, help Romanian woman onto flight
•Take off in the worst ice that I have ever flown in- apparently weather was not an issue today
•Finaly get home at 1 pm to find a note from our postal carrier bitching about the walk not being cleared of snow! Still laughing but verrrry tired.

This does not even touch the incredibly unfriendly United staff.

Shout out to i_robot for the on the road assist assist!

Ha HA HA!

Ended up at the Southern Most House in Key West after a Corona style NYE on a deserted beach on some key half way down... that would be the southern most point of the USofA... 98 miles from good ole Cuba. Temps dropped down to the 60's ( boo hoo I know ) with the front bringing strong winds. Miss the 16" of snow we got back at our house actually. Many small fish froze and ended up on the beach here... miniature flounder, crabs and red sanppers. Going to do some off the beaten path exploring on the way back to MIA.

Tonight: Haunted History Tour and then Drag Queen show.

Then with a vac-like rush, back to reality. Lots to do.

Kim's mother is doing very well, she is positive and hopeful and happy and strong cheerful and it seems to have helped in her treatment. Positive thoughts are good medicine, don't ever let the FDA tell you otherwise.

I practically stole it....

My neighbor was being transfered out of state so I bought this for Kim. Volvo XC70 AWD/Turbo



At first I thought that I may have been a bit hasty but in the light of the recent news of Kim's mother's illness, Kim ( and I ) will be traveling back and forth to her parent's on a regular basis so I am happy to have a reliable and safe car for her.

As you may or may not have heard, Kim's mother has had an on and off battle with breast cancer for 19 years now. Last Friday we found out that the cancer has spread.

Kim's post pretty much sums the rest of it up. Grace, strength, love and courage. She is an incredible woman.

So the mayor of our town pulls me to the side last Friday while I was walking through town. Seems that the city management ( AKA "The Man" ) wants me around so she is going to appoint me to the open seat on the planning commission so that I can get some more experience and run again in 2 years. It's actually a good position and it puts me in an area that I can help make some direct improvements that relate to our stake in the community. They probably realized that it best to have me on "their team" on the inside than to have me cranking down the catapults on the outside.

Well... I knew going into it that my chances were slim. I didn't get a seat on city council. Regardless it was a great experience and I learned alot. I plan to stay involved in the local political scene with all that Kim and I have at stake in the city that we live in. The other businesses have asked me to keep fighting for them. Unfortunately most of the business owners live just outside of our limits so they couldn't vote.

My only real bitterness stems from our local "community" paper that dogged the 2 of us that ran against the current council with lies and slants. It was shameful. I seriously hope that they don't even think of asking the 2 of us to advertise in their paper this winter... I guess that I just have to let that one go.

In other news, my shop key broke off of the ring so I couldn't get into my shop this morning... but wait! I had made a spare and stuck it in a hiding place in my car console. I went to open my car door and the handle broke off! WTF! So I crawled through the pass side to grab the new key. Right... the tool working the tool at Home Depot didn't grind it correctly so my key didn't work. So back into the pass seat I sat waiting for my guys to get in and I look into the ash tray and there was Mark's old key that I borrowed months ago - I thought that I lost it and had recently made him a new one! So goes my morning.....

Tomorrow I am one year closer to being 40 and I am on the ballot for our local election.. add in a house full of relatives and there you have it...The Perfect Sto'm... We're head'n for the Flemish Coast Skip'a!

I have been driving around the city with one of our cargo vans covered with election info... the city "forgot" to post that there is even an election tomorrow. The paper reported that the voter turn out is expected to be 20% - up from last election's 9%.. thanks to me I like to think.

I work best under pressure... thanks to my super power A.D.D.!



Keep your thumbs crossed for me!

EDIT: Plus I payed our house off today.

Never ask the kid dressed as "The Half Naked Guy" the following question: "Where's your bag?"






And for mean salley.... That's what she said.

I find it a bit concerning that my employees are more excited about receiveing a case of 3M 233+ Green series tape for the shop than they were receiving checks with 23 hours of O/T plus bonuses...


It was a scene much like the beginning of 2001:A Space Odyssey.

Kind of....

London was fun, my travel companions strange, but fun none the less. Stayed in a cool area called Avon. James put a deposit on a Scorpion ( not a Saxon as I originally thought ) Last week he got the deposit check back with a note that they sold the tank to someone local... that's it- I am done with tanks. On the flight back some kid was kicking the CRAP put of the back of my seat so the crew moved me to first class. That was sweet.

In other news this has been the busiest year that my business has seen in 14. Considering the economy here that's pretty crazy. I shelved the screen printing business and decided to start an online wide format printng company. My 2nd Mimaki printer comes in next week. I am specializing in banners, custom wallpaper and large format vinyl for "do it yourself" vehicle wraps. Separate location and employees. I believe that the potential is there so we'll see.

Kim took me to a Wings game Wednesday for my birthday. 3rd row on the corner- great seats. It was a fun night, she's the best!

Election day is coming fast- November 6th which is my birthday. My campaign site went live thanks to irobot for the help! The news paper did a bio- name, age, occupation, web site.. etc.. I was the only candidate with a website and they omitted it. My bio was cut short. The local paper did a hatchet job on me as well. Interesting thing is that the council seems to be echoing me all of a sudden during the council meetings so apparently I have been heard. It is difficult to oust an incumbent.. even if that incumbent was appointed to the council. Sometimes I think that I should just turn into the local eccentric candidate. Tell the press things like, "I think that the city needs a blimp!"

We've got a Halloween event down town tonight untill 11 so I've got to do some camapigning while I hand out candy at Kim's shop.


Oh yeah.. and Toastbandit and irobot came by the other night. We went to dinner and drank some Guiness.. Oberon.. no Guiness.. maybe Oberon.. OK I'll take a Guiness.

Wish me luck on November 6th- It's time that Gen X stood up and started taking a stand!

So I am off to London today. I get in tomorrow morning and head to Paddington station to grab a train to meet up with James at the tank place ( www.witham-sv.com ). I will have pictures and video to share. I think that we are going to another place that has some Soviet T series tanks as well.

Kim said that if i buy a tank... I'm sleeping in it... so I am actually looking at some Swiss military motorcycles.

tally-ho.... BANG!

I just ordered a new computer for my RIP station. My sales rep's name ( I didn't belive it until I received his email confirmation ) is... Harry Spear.

Harry Spear! How cool is that!